i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
(via yoladni)
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(via marypoppinthatpussy)
if you play guitar there is a 372% chance i am sexually attracted to you
(Source: neilweastfall, via nippled)
